Save Me Read online

She looked away, and I got my answer.

  "I'm not saying I will be OK. I don't want to do this to him, but I need you in my life, Ari," she said, and I could hear the desperation as well as the uncertainty.

  "I don't know what to tell you, Shannon, because I don't see how that is possible. You really should not have come to see me because I was in a good place...fuck," I sighed and tried not to make eye contact with her.

  She was so beautiful and our close proximity was becoming unbearable for me.

  "Please…"

  "Let's go. I have a whole lot of shit to deal with right now. I'm going to my office for the first time in over a year, and before that, I have no memory of it," I said. "I'm just hoping that my father is not in office so I can settle in before he starts his attack."

  "Why would he attack you?"

  "I'm his only child. He's hoping I would take the reins one day, but I was...busy," I smiled and then winked at her.

  "Please don't do that," she said, and she was serious.

  "OK. The last thing I want is for my parents to catch me making out in my car on my first visit in over a year...with a woman," I said and shuddered at the hell I would have to endure. "Come on, babe."

  I got out of the car and Shannon followed. I apologized for not being able to hold her hand, and she understood. I took the elevator up to the fifth floor of the building where my father's office was located and mine was just down the hall from his.

  "Miss Todd! Oh my God...I have not seen you in...ages," Blake, the head of security said.

  "Don't remind me, Blake. It's good to see you," I smiled. "This is my friend, Shannon."

  "Nice to meet you, Shannon," Blake greeted and extended his hand.

  Shannon took it with a smile.

  "Nice to meet you too, Blake."

  "Blake, is my dad around?" I asked.

  "He is having a meeting in the boardroom. Would you like me to let him know you…?"

  "No, no, no," I quickly objected. "I would like to settle in first. I will go to him when I'm ready."

  "No problem, Miss Todd. Just let me know if you need anything."

  "Thanks, Blake," I replied then held Shannon by the arm and led her to my office.

  I opened the door that led to my secretary's office, which was now vacant because I was never around. I walked to my office door and entered the code which I hoped my father had not changed. I was successful and stepped into the massive office that my father prepared for me with hope that one day I would become serious about this business.

  "Oh my God! This is your office...just for you?"

  "I think so. My name was on the door, right?" I asked.

  "Yes."

  "Just making sure. Have a seat," I said offering the large leather sofa at the opposite end of the room. "I'll get you something to drink, although I'm sure everything inside this refrigerator has expired."

  I examine the fridge and realize that nothing has really expired because my dad must have directed them to keep everything fresh because I would be coming any day. Poor Dad. I admired his faith in me, and I loved him with all my heart. I just wished I had been the daughter he deserved. I intended to try, but I doubt I would ever be.

  "What would you like?" I asked Shannon as I looked at the selection of wine in the fridge. "Come over here."

  Shannon came over and stood beside me, her eyes focused on me instead of the bottle that was in my hand or the ones inside the fridge. She held on to my long ponytail and brought it to her nose then closed her eyes and inhaled.

  "I would rather have you," she said and placed her forehead on mine.

  She took the bottle from my hand and placed it back in the fridge while I stood there with no control over my legs to walk away. She closed the door, then once again, returned her gaze to mine. I could not function with her so close to me and one touch rendered me helpless, but I was determined to not let the one month I spent away from home prove to be a waste of time. I could not allow Shannon to break my resolve.

  "Shannon, please... stop. I can't…"

  She cut my words short with her lips. She sucked mine between them then her tongue entered my mouth. It was too late. She got me. As she kissed me, I lifted her dress and grabbed onto her ass, pulling her hips into mine. I could feel the strings of her thong, and I moaned into her mouth. I brought one hand around to the front and slipped it into her panties. My mind almost exploded when I felt her pussy in my hand.

  "Oh fuck! Oh my God…," I cried into her mouth. "Get on the sofa. Let me eat your pussy."

  Our kiss continued as we made our way to the couch. Shannon laid back while still hanging on to me with her tongue trapped in my mouth. My hand came over her breast and found her nipple through the fabric.

  "I want you so bad," she said, and I made my way down to pussy.

  I pulled her dress up a little too roughly, but I was too eager to get my tongue inside her. I almost had a brain malfunction when I felt Shannon stop me.

  "What...what are you...why are you stopping me?" I asked.

  "Come here," she said and pulled me up to her. She kissed my lips, but mine was motionless. "I'm sorry, Ari. I want you so bad...but...I can't."

  I pulled away from her and got up then walked away to my desk and quickly fixed my clothes and my hair. I pulled out the chair at my desk and sat as I fought so hard not to cry. I took up a pen, but could not write. I closed my eyes and felt so embarrassed that I was trying to avoid this very situation but was not strong enough to see it through.

  "Arien," Shannon whispered. "Please look at me."

  Angrily, I did. There was no mistaking the hurt and sadness on my face, and I could tell from her reaction that she knew. She got up and walked cautiously to my desk then sat in the chair across from me.

  "Arien...you must know how badly I want this. I'm just in a very difficult situation. I'm not free to do whatever I want because I'm married to someone who has never broken a rule in our marriage. You know him. He is an attack dog as a lawyer, but as a husband and friend, he is the most wonderful human being. It is difficult for me to do this, even behind his back."

  I looked at her, and I wanted to kill her. I was furious that she claimed to love me but not enough to override a little guilt to be with me.

  "Your husband has watched men and women fuck you over and over again, so I don't accept that bullshit excuse for not being with someone you claim to love," I asked through clenched teeth.

  "You're right. He as watched me have sex with other people, and sometimes he is not even there, but all of those happened with his blessing. We have never done anything behind each other's back. This is a first for me and it does not feel good."

  "You were the one who changed the rule. You told him that it could no longer happen unless you were both present," I reminded her.

  "Because I realized that watching him or him watching me was more enjoyable for me. I could change it back to the way it was before so you and I could be together, but he is going to want to come to you. I can't allow that."

  "You told him that you wanted another threesome with me."

  "Yes, because I didn't know where the fuck you were. I wanted to see you so bad that I didn't care under what circumstances."

  I sat back in my chair, and wished I had fallen in love with someone else, but my heart only wanted her. The best thing was to go out on a few dates to see if someone else was out there for me because the truth was, I had not really been on dates or ever looked for a permanent relationship. I should try that because this could not be my only shot at love.

  "Shannon," I said twirling the pen between my fingers and not making eye contact with her. "I think the best way is to stay away from each other…"

  "No! No...we can't so that!"

  "So what the fuck should I do?!" I shouted and slammed my hand on the desk. "Tell me, Shannon. What do I do?"

  "I...I just want you to wait for me to work something out."

  "Like what? What can you work out?"

  "I...I'
ll tell Raj I'm reopening our marriage. If he wants to sleep with you then tell him you don't want to. He can go to whoever he wants and I will be with only you," she said excitedly as if she was proud of herself to come up with such a plan.

  "And what happens when he wants to share you?"

  "I'll tell him I'm no longer interested in that," she had a ready answer.

  "He's going to allow you to see only me?" I asked shaking my head. "Raj is a lawyer. How long is it going to take before he realizes that his sex-addicted wife only wants to see one girl? How long will it take before he realizes that we are in love with each other and that is the reason why I no longer want to sleep with him and you only want to sleep with me? This is fucking ridiculous, Shannon," I said.

  "That's all I have, Ari. I want to be with you, but I don't know how else to do that. What do you want me to do? Leave my husband?"

  "Yes!" The word flew out of my mouth, but I didn't mean it. I didn't want to ruin her marriage, and I really didn't want her to hurt Raj. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean…"

  "Take me to my car please," Shannon said and my heart l stopped. She was furious with me.

  "Shannon…"

  "I need to leave," she said and the sparkling blue of her eyes had darkened with rage at my suggestion that she walked away from her beloved Raj.

  "OK," I said and she was at the door before me.

  I opened it and walked out into my father.

  "Wow! Look at you," he laughed with excitement. "My baby girl! I have not seen you in so long."

  My father hugged me to him, and I was grateful for his strength because I was falling apart.

  "Hi, Dad," I said and closed my eyes as my face pressed against his chest.

  "You look so professional. Have you decided to make your old man happy by joining the team?"

  "That's the plan. This is my friend, Shannon," I introduced and was proud of Shannon for suppressing her anger enough to greet my father pleasantly.

  "So where are you two going. I thought you'd…"

  "I'm just taking Shannon to her car because she needs to leave, but I'll be back."

  "No, you won't," he said with disappointment on his face.

  "I promise, Dad."

  "You have promised me before."

  "But not in a business suit," I smiled and kissed his face.

  I placed my hand on Shannon's back and led her away from him after they said their goodbyes. Once we got into the elevator, I turned her to face me.

  "Shan, I am madly in love with you. I want to be with you, but I don't know how…"

  "Leaving Raj is not an option, so if that's the only option you have then you're right; we need to stay away from each other."

  "I’m willing to take what I can get, but as you saw in the office, I can't get anything without Raj's blessing," I said and she pulled away from me and stepped out of the elevator.

  She had a good memory and walked right to where my car was parked. She stood by the door and waited until I got close enough for the doors to open then entered and slammed the door shut. When I got in beside her, she was fuming. I wanted to hold her hand and ask her not to let us part like this, but I was afraid that she would knock my teeth out. What was the point anyway? We were going our separate ways, and as much as I wanted to be in her life, what she was currently offering was unacceptable to me.

  The drive to my apartment was quiet, and my heart almost ripped from my chest when she opened the door and left without saying a word. I watched as she got into her car and sped out onto the street, and I could not guarantee that she would reach home without getting into an accident. I tried calling her to tell her to calm down, but she did not pick up her phone. I sat in my car for a while, as unbearable loneliness came over me, and I wanted nothing more than to go up to my apartment and cry, but my father was waiting. I knew he was not really expecting me to return to the office, but I needed to be there to show him and myself that I was capable of turning my life around.

  With a heavy heart, I drove out of the parking lot and headed in the direction from which I came. I had never been in love before, and I hated the feeling of it. It was not for the emotionally fragile because it could ruin your whole life. I decided to be the strong woman I knew I was and get past this because there had to be someone better out there for me. If I could just not see her beautiful face every time I blinked, if I could just stop feeling the silky softness of her skin against mine, if I could just not hear her cries as she came into my mouth, if I could just let her go, then I would make room for someone else to love.

  With my heart racing and my hands shaking, I made my way up to my office. I had to walk past my father’s but I wanted a moment to pour myself a drink to ease the tension inside me. However, as soon as I walked into my office, my dad called to say he was on his way to me. I could still have that drink, but I did not want him to think that alcohol was playing any role in our discussion.

  I sat at my desk and closed my eyes, allowing my mind to go anywhere but Shannon. I thought about my friends and wondered why it was taking so long for them to bombard me with questions about my reasons for leaving so suddenly, cutting them out of my life for a month. They were probably angry at me and decided to wait for me to make the first move. I made a mental note to call them as soon as I was finished talking with my father.

  There was a light knock on my door and my father walked in dressed in his grey suit, so tall and handsome. I couldn’t recall ever seeing him out of his suit and was positive he did not own a pair of jeans. He was such a serious and old-fashioned man that I could not understand how his parenting style was so liberal. He let me did whatever I wanted, only having a conversation when my actions were close to a hundred. I loved him with all my heart and was very proud that he was my dad, however, my actions had not reflected how I really felt.

  “Hello, my darling,” he said walking around my desk to give me his customary hug and kiss.

  “Hi, Dad,” I replied and got up to meet him.

  With my head on his chest, I tried to pull from his strength because I so badly needed it. Love had drained me, and there was no end in sight.

  “How was your trip?” he asked as he sat on the sofa at the other end of the room.

  I joined him and crossed my legs as I turned toward him.

  “It was life-altering,” I replied.

  “How so?”

  “It was not my usual vacation. I spent a lot of time at an orphanage. I fed babies and changed a diaper all by myself,” I said to my father proudly and smiled at the memory.

  “Really?” he said and straightened his tall frame. “And what made you chose this vacation over your signature ones, then take off so suddenly?”

  “Just wanted to find a more meaningful path in my life.”

  “I guess you did because you are here in your office where I have begged you to be for years.”

  “I have been here before, Dad.”

  “Yes, but you have not left and returned. That is new,” he said. “Your mother told me you’re in love. Is that the reason…”

  “My mother says a lot of things.”

  “Is she wrong?”

  “Dad, I am not here to talk about my love life or the lack thereof. I am here to talk business. Encourage this step and not push me out the door,” I warned because my parents had no boundaries when it came to my business.

  “You're right, my love,” he said and gave me a smile. I did not return it because he seemed to be smiling about something else in his head. “Let’s start with your financial concerns. I have found a new accountant for you…actually, it is an accounting firm. You became too personal with Raj and that’s obviously the reason for the breakup.”

  Oh, Dad, if only you knew the reason, I thought to myself.

  “It was time to move on.”

  “I have done the preliminaries, but Raj might want you to authorize the release of your financial records to B&B, so meet with him and have that step sorted out,” he said.

  I
didn’t want to meet Raj, but whatever. It was business, and I planned to stick to that without any discussion of his wife or what could have been.

  “Anything else?”

  “I would like you to meet with me and Dexter, who is the head of finance, to discuss the financial status of the business. This is your company, Arien. You need to know which direction to turn if your mother and I suddenly die…”

  “Don’t say that!” I shouted because I could not separate probability from reality when I heard the words.

  “What? You think we can’t die? Do you think we will always be around to take care of business while you live your promiscuous life decorated with alcohol and parties?”

  “Dad…”

  “You are here now, and I’m happy you caught us in time, so I will be more than happy to get you up to speed. I'm sure you have no idea about what this company does…"

  "Yes, Dad. I know what we do here, but I would love for you to show me how it operates. This is a massive biotech corporation and there will be a lot to learn. Give me something to read over and schedule a meeting for tomorrow morning," I said and got up from the couch then walked over to my desk. "I don't even have a pen in this office. I need a secretary, Dad. There's a lot to do and I need someone efficient and…"

  "Arien, you have a secretary. She was sent to a different office because there was nothing here for her to do. She has been trained to be your right hand in this company but has been working with the head of personnel and I'm not sure if they will even send her back to you," my dad said as he walked over to my phone. He picked it up and made a call. "Douglas, my daughter is in office, and I know Elise had joined your team but she would like to get her back...no...she's here for good. Yea...we could move Kelly instead. I understand. I'll look into someone else. OK. Bye."

  My father disconnected the call and returned to the sofa.

  "What the hell was that?” I asked in surprise because my father who was so tough was walking on egg-shells with his staff.

  “What, dear?”

  “It sounded like you were asking permission to get my secretary back.”

  “I was,” he said and took a seat on the sofa. “She might be found to be more effective where she is at the moment so taking her from…”