The Business Trip Read online

  The Business Trip

  CHAPTER 1

  I hated days like this that were filled with meetings and phone calls that seemed to go on forever. As an Architect, I had to travel to where my services were needed and for the past year it had been Long Island, New York which had me split between my obligations here in Miami and the demands of this major project I had undertaken. This was my second project in the state in a year and I had promised Sydney that once the first job was completed, I would not travel so far away from home anymore because I had more than enough projects here in Florida to keep my business going.

  I had my reasons though for taking on a second assignment that I could never share with Sydney. I had no choice, Alison was there, and I could not just walk away and never see her again so I found another reason to stay. I bit on the pencil that I was twirling in my mouth, looking at the portrait of my family one the wall: my wife, Sydney, our five her old bundle of joy, Taila, and me. We were happy and a perfect fit, a perfect family. Sydney and I never argued, we just flowed; very in-tuned with each other and my family loved her.

  Taila was the star of the show and she brightened my world. She brightened everyone’s world and I would give my life to protect her. I wanted her to remain happy. I wanted a happy home for her and I provided that but with every trip I took to New York, I was a step closer to destroying that which Sydney and I worked so hard to build for our family. I have a successful business and she was a professor at the University close to the school Taila attended which put me at ease because if something happened, Sydney would just be a few minutes away from her.

  It was late. I needed to get home. I had promised Taila a story tonight but today was such a long and stressful day that I could not make it home in time but she was such an understanding girl that I was not worried. I would have have to make it up to her with two stories instead of one. I had the perfect life that I did not see coming when I met Sydney at my nephew’s graduation. I saw her and thought she was very beautiful and poised, in control of her voice, her walk, of herself and I just had to say hello so I put myself in her way so that I could. By the end of our twenty minutes discussion, she invited me out.

  I wasn’t sure what about that meeting that made her ask me out but I was relieved because it saved me from the probability of doing it and being rejected. Two nights after that initial encounter, we were having dinner and I could not take my eyes off her. I doubted my luck a few times and wondered if she was real because how did I get so lucky to have just gone to a graduation that I really did not want to attend and this gorgeous angel just fell into my lap. If there was ever a perfect woman, it would be Sydney Mason.

  Her students loved her and I was yet to find a person who didn’t. I loved her and she was an amazing mother to our daughter. Sydney and I had been together for six years. She had supported me and listened to my successes and concerns about my business and although she knew nothing about the details of an Architect, she understood my anxieties.

  Life had given me this perfect gift but was doing everything it could to take it away. I had fought so hard and cried so much and everyday I lose a little more of my will to keep fighting. It was more powerful than I was and it had worn me down so much that I could look at my family, know that I was fucking everything up, but could not do anything to stop myself. Alison had weaved herself into every fiber of my body and I had absolutely no idea how to unravel her in order to save this gift I had been given. One year in and I had no idea where to start.

  I looked at the other portrait of us on our wedding day. We looked so happy and in love. She was so beautiful and her smile could light up a room no matter how dreary it is because her personality was soothing and pleasant. When we went on our first date, she was in a relationship that she was not happy about. She felt unappreciated and taken for granted because she was so kind, accepting of whatever little came her way, and her girlfriend at the time gave her just that. Not one to start a fight or an argument, allowed her girl to do whatever she wanted with little consequences, therefore, she saw her as weak so she was floored when Sydney told her that she had found love and would be moving on. I took so much pleasure in going to their apartment to get her and enjoyed the shocked look on her girlfriend’s face when I put her suitcases in my car and drove off with her.

  I never viewed Sydney’s loving and sweet nature as a weakness because I hated arguments, chaos, uncertainty, instability, just about anything that would keep me worried at nights or afraid to go home. It was quite the opposite with Sydney because going home was my cure after a long rough day. Those things I hated in my personal life I was able to handle in business because my line of work required me to negotiate tough and demand a lot from the people I worked with but my home is my refuge and my daughter was my oxygen. We had an amazing relationship. I had a happy home.

  I needed to get to it because it was almost nine o’clock and I had been sitting in my office staring at the portraits for the past two hours, looking at how much I had to lose. I got up and slipped into my jacket, picked up my briefcase, picked up some documents for my secretary to address in the morning which I left on her desk, turned off the lights and took the stairs instead of the elevator.

  “Hey, Jackson. See you tomorrow,” I said to the night security as I headed out the front door to my car.

  “Goodnight, Logan,” he smiled and ensure that I got to my car safely.

  As I drove home I ignored the calls that were coming in from my mother and my best friend, Erika. I really shouldn’t ignore my friend because I had unloaded on the poor girl for the past fifteen years and I wondered why the hell she hadn’t run screaming from me already. I could not speak to her tonight though, she was not who I needed tonight. I needed my home, I needed Sydney. She knew what to do to help me get over this long busy day where I almost starve to death. Her call came in and that I could not refuse.

  “Hey, babe.”

  “Are you on your way home?” Sydney asked.

  “Yea. I just left the office.”

  “Poor baby, have you eaten at all?” She asked, always concerned about my diet.

  “Breakfast and a few cups of coffee. I am starving,” I said.

  “Logan, I told you to take a few minutes to eat something, now you will be having a headache. Anyway, your dinner is waiting and I just want you to know that you are in big trouble with Tai. She said you told her you would be back to read her a story.”

  “I know. I figured I would be in trouble but I will give her a morning time story instead.”

  “I hope it works out for you honey, I really do,” she laughed. “See you soon. Love you.”

  “Love you too. Bye,” I returned and disconnected the call.

  I wished my bathroom could meet me part of the way because I needed a shower so badly. I guess I was just hoping that the water would be able to clear my confused thoughts and I was trying very hard to not let my mind drift to Alison because she could easily just take control of me no matter the distance between us. About five minutes away from home my phone rang and the moment I saw her name flashed across the screen in my car, my heart did its usual dance.

  “Alison, how are you?”

  “You are very formal tonight. What’s going on?” Her sweet voice filled my car and my face lit up.

  “No, it’s nothing. I am fine.”

  “Great. I am doing good, just a little anxious.”

  “About?”

  “Seeing you. I can’t wait. Oh my God, this is torture, baby. How much longer are we going to be doing this?”

  “I know. It is hard and I have been asking too much of you. I just don’t know what to do, Ali.”

  She did not reply and I turned inside the parking lot of the mall closest to my hou
se so I could finish our conversation before going home.

  “Logan, it has been a year and you can’t ask me to move on because you know that I can’t…,” she cried and it broke my heart everytime.

  Alison was so unhappy, I was making her unhappy and I could not fix the mess that I was in because letting her go was not an option. I would fucking die if she was no longer in my life because she controlled every fiber inside me.

  “Baby, I am tired of saying how sorry I am and I know you are tired of hearing it. I will see you in two days and…”

  “And then what? You leave again? This is killing me, Logan,” she was crying and I was not there to hold her.

  The tears we have both shed was enough to fill a pool because every time on my way back from seeing her, I cried the entire flight because I felt like I was leaving a part of me behind...every time!

  “Baby, this is killing me too. I want to be with you so badly but…”

  “I know. Your family. I do understand. I have been understanding for a year but I am just asking how much longer? What is the strategy?”

  “Ali, we are two architects who are great at dealing with complexities and we sat and tried to work through to find a solution and we both are unable to find a strategy so honestly, I don’t have one. I just know that I can’t live without you and I can’t abandon my family. I am not having a problem there, I am not in an unhappy marriage, they have done nothing wrong or give me any reason to leave and that is what is making it so hard to come up with a plan.”

  “You can’t have us both Logan and I can’t ask you to choose because I am afraid that you won’t...you can’t choose me,” the crying continued. “I lie here every night thinking about you in her arms and every night I die a little more. I don’t know who I am anymore. This is not healthy for me, Logan. I am not stupid because I know what I have to do, I know what I am suppose to do but I can’t do it! I can’t fucking do it!” She screamed.

  I could not understand how the fuck I found myself in this situation. I had the perfect life. I was not suppose to be sitting in a parking lot crying my eyes out because I was hurting someone else so much with no way of fixing it.

  “Ali...I...Oh God…,” I didn’t know what to say.

  “Give me something, Logan. Anything at this point.”

  “I love you. That’s all I have at the moment,” I whispered feeling helpless. “Alison, please don’t think that I am not thinking every single moment how to be with you. If I had one reason to leave, I would. In a second, I would be by your side because I know how I feel when I am with you and you know how difficult it has been to leave you behind but Sydney has not given me one reason. Nothing! How do I go to my wife and our daughter and say to them that I have to go when they have done everything right? I am not out of love with Sydney, she doesn’t make me repulse when she touches me. There is nothing to make me fucking leave! I don’t know what to do!” I shouted. “When I say, I don’t know, I just don’t fucking know!”

  We sat in silence for a while before she finally spoke.

  “I am going to try. I need to help us both out here. I am going to try going on a date…”

  “What? No! I don’t want you going on any fucking dates! I am serious about this Alison. Do you hear me?”

  “That’s the only way. Maybe then you will hate me enough to stay away and I will hate you enough for doing it. Then we can both move on.”

  “Do you think this is a game? You think I don’t know that you are the fucking air that I breathe? That you are my soulmate? I know who you are so you don’t need to try to kill me for me to get it. I do! I just can’t get to you and that is what I have been trying to figure out. Please...Alison. Don’t give up…”

  “I don’t want to, Logan. I don’t but I am lonely and hurting all the time because I want to be near you, I want to touch you and feel you,” she was inconsolable. “Do you know who many women ask me out? Do you think I short on options?..”

  “I know. I know.”

  “Yet every night I go to bed alone and crying. What kind of life is that? I have to do something...it has been a year of torture and I have to do something.”

  “No! Wait...I will be there in a couple of days…”

  “Then, you leave and rip another piece of me and take with you? There is nothing left, Logan. Nothing else that you can have because if you take one more piece, I will fucking die!” She screamed and disconnected the call.

  I rested my head on the steering wheel of the car and I bawled because the pain was so excruciating. I could not drive because my whole body was shaking. Sydney called but I could not take it because I felt like the only thing I should be doing is finding the nearest airport and fly to New York. I needed to pull myself together or there would be no stopping that idea. I called Alison back because I did not want to leave her like this.

  “Hello,” her crying voice came on the line.

  “Baby...I will see you in two days, OK?”

  “OK.”

  “No work. Just you and me so clear your schedule,” I said.

  “I am working on a project but I will just ask Jake to do the landscape design and I finish up after you leave,” she said. “Logan, I love you so much.”

  “I love you too, sweetheart. No dates, OK?”

  “Not before you come and we talk.”

  “Ali...please. I don’t even want you to think about that.”

  “One of us has to do something and it is looking more and more like me. I refuse to sit another year like this. If the playing field was leveled, I would fight like an animal for you but I can’t go to another woman’s wife and demand anything when there is no grounds to do so. You said it yourself, she is perfect. I have no fucking idea how we are going to survive apart but we have to try. It is time. See you in two days and come with a plan. I already have one. Goodnight, Logan,” and she was gone.

  I looked down at my shaking hands. I could not go home. I could not let Sydney see me like this. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the opposite direction to Erika’s apartment.

  I lost track of time and the number of times Sydney called me. I knew I had to return the call before she contacts the police.

  “Oh my God, Logan! I was so worried. Where are you? Shouldn’t you get here already?”

  “I am sorry. I just have to run by Erika for something. Don’t wait up because I don’t know how long it is going to take,” I said.

  “Are you crying?”

  I didn’t want to answer because I knew she could tell and saying no with a stuffy nose was just going to confirm that I really was. I saw her calling back but I did not accept the call instead I parked in front of Erika’s apartment and ran up the stairs to her door. I used my phone to call her as I was standing outside of her apartment.

  “I am not available to speak right now because I have been calling you all day and you…”

  “I’m outside your door.”

  “What? Here?”

  “Yes, Erika. Open the door. Please.”

  She did and I pushed past her into her living room and sat on the sofa crying with my face in my hand.

  “Oh no. It's Alison?”

  “I don't know what to do, Erika. She has been waiting for a whole fucking year and all she is asking for is a plan and I don't have one.”

  “I know. It is a hard place for you to be in and we have tried to figure it out, but there was no solution,” Erika said shaking her head. “We were always able to put our heads together and work things out. Fourteen years, we successfully did that and one year of failure on this one. Maybe we need to take this from a different angle. Maybe we should be working on how you can walk away.”

  “That is not an option. That is the same as digging my grave. I can't,” I made myself clear.

  “But what if she does? What if she can't do this anymore?”

  “She said she thinks she should try dating other people and I almost lost it.”

  “That is unfair because you are sleeping
with another woman while she lies in her bed thinking about it and crying. Let her go on dates then if she finds someone it will be easier for you to just stay with your family.” I could not believe what I was hearing from Erika.

  I made sure she saw the disapproving look in my eyes then I got up and took up my bag to leave.

  “No! Logan!” She shouted and blocked the door. “I'm sorry.”

  “You don't get it and I thought you did. I love her! I want to be with her and I am here for you to help me figure out how!”

  “I don't know! There is no path to her without telling Sydney and Taila that you are leaving them. That's the only way to Alison and I can't support that. If you go after Alison, that is suicide! You will have to abandon everything and everyone because your family will never give you that support, neither will I. So you don't have a choice, honey. You have explained to me and I get it but you gain Alison and lose everything else. You can't have it all. So sit and let us work out how you will be able to cope with losing her. Let's try that angle.”