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  Shannon was right there, and while she could not hear what Lynn was saying, I felt horrible to confirm to this while she was by my side. However, this was an annual event that many people who wanted to be there didn’t get invited to. I had to confirm, even if I changed my mind later.

  “Go ahead and confirm,” I said to Lynn as Shannon’s eyes burned into me.

  “OK, Miss Todd. I will email you the details.”

  “Thanks, Lynn.”

  I disconnected the call and looked at Shannon who was looking back at me without expression. I was not sure what was going on in her mind, so I wasn’t sure if I should say something or pretend the call had nothing to do with sex. I used to be so at ease with these types of parties, but now I was starting to feel ashamed. I had no idea why I should feel that way with Shannon when she was a master at these events. The parties were not all just about sex. The sex was just one aspect which usually came at the end, however, there were others where sex was the only aspect. Those parties were rare for me, but Shannon and Raj seemed to have those in abundance.

  “Who’s Lynn?” Shannon finally asked when she realized I was not saying anything?

  “My assistant,” I replied and there was a knock on the door which gently opened.

  “Miss Todd, here’s your champagne,” Tiffany said and handed the glass to me. “And one for you.”

  “Thank you,” we both said.

  Tiffany told me she would be right back with a selection for me to fit and left me to answer to Shannon about my conversation with Lynn.

  “So what was Lynn confirming for you?” she asked over the rim of her glass.

  “Ahm...I have a viewing...kind of like a party…”

  “Viewing? What is a viewing party?”

  “It is not a viewing party. It is a party with alcohol and friends, music…party.”

  “I’m waiting to hear how the ‘viewing’ fits into the whole theme.”

  “At the end of the party there is a viewing of men and women, and we choose who we want and we get paired off. There is only like twenty invitations for these events,” I explained.

  “So you are going to a party and choosing a man to fuck. Wonderful,” she said and downed the rest of her drink.

  “And what will you be doing at the party you’re going to with Raj?” I asked getting to my feet because I felt the need to stand away from her.

  “Never mind. You do what you have to do,” she said and seemed very upset about me attending this party.

  I didn’t understand how she could be upset with me for doing the same thing she was planning on doing. It didn’t make any sense to me, and I was at a loss as to what to do about it.

  “Shannon…”

  “So you are going to a party tonight and one in a couple of weeks?” she asked.

  “There might be a couple in between?” I said. “The parties I attend are not all sex parties. Sometimes sex happens depending on who you meet and how free it is to do so.”

  “I know,” she said softly and looked into her champagne glass with disappointment that it was empty.

  At that moment there was a knock, and Tiffany walked in and brightened up the room that had gone gray. She brought in a few selections and her chirpiness and beautiful smile made Shannon and I take a break from the uncomfortable conversation we had engaged in.

  “Could you be any more flirtatious?” Shannon said and walked over to the rack to examine the dresses.

  “I was not flirting with Tiffany.”

  “You stripped the girl naked with your eyes, Arien.”

  “I did no such thing,” I said and walked over to her. “What is your problem?”

  “You,” she said and pulled me to her roughly.

  Shannon pressed her lips against mine as her nails sank into my skin. I brought my hand up to her face and her under her chin and force her face away from mine. I looked in her eyes that were mixed with anger and passion then my eyes traveled back to her pink lips. I wanted them. I opened my mouth over her lips and her tongue came out into my mouth. I sucked on it as my hand released her face and went to her breast. I grabbed hold and squeezed the mound in my palm. Her nipple was so hard that I could feel its hardness through the fabric of her top.

  Shannon slipped her hand under my top and ran her warm hands up my side. She continued up then pulled away from me and took my top over my head.

  “What are you doing?” I asked before her lips returned to mine.

  “Getting you undressed to try your clothes,” she said into my mouth.

  Her hands undid the snap on my bra and her lips left mine and traveled down my neck to my breasts. My mouth opened to tell her to stop, but I needed to feel my nipples in her mouth. Shannon pulled the bra off and covered one nipple, sucking me deep into her mouth.

  “Oh...my...fucking…,” I could not breathe. “Stop…”

  I knew the door could open any minute but the feeling of Shannon sucking on my breast had paralyzed me. Shannon took the other breast in her mouth and as she sucked, she washed my nipple with her tongue. She was moaning so hard that I was afraid someone would hear her.

  “Lock the door,” I said to her but Shannon slipped her hand into my panties. “Fuuuuck…”

  Shannon’s finger found my hole and wasted no time in driving deep inside me.

  “Oh my God,” she said and held her head back with her eyes closed as she savored the feeling of being deep inside my pussy.

  I held on to her tightly and made my way to the door with her finger still buried inside me and her tongue in my mouth as I tried my best not to make us tumble to the floor. I managed to turn the lock on the door but was unable to move any further. One little sound from my lips would be heard from outside the door where I was sure Tiffany and a couple of other sales associates were waiting.

  I needed more than Shannon’s finger, so I pulled my lips away from hers and forced her down to my pussy. My panties were still on so she pulled the crotch to one side and sucked me into her mouth. I quickly brought my hands up to my mouth to help me keep the sounds in because instant pleasure shot through me. I was not sure how successful I was because I was sure I heard myself make a whimpering sound as Shannon ravaged my pussy.

  I needed to move away from the door because my orgasm was rushing forward, and I would not be able to control the sounds that escape my mouth. Shannon’s tongue was doing some serious damage to my clit and my body started to shake as I almost reached the peak of sexual pleasure. I removed one hand from my mouth and grabbed the back of her head, forcing her lips and tongue into my pussy. A mixture of hot and cold rushed through my body and I was cumming on Shannon’s tongue.

  It was the most painful experience to hold in my sounds during such intensity of pleasure. I was about to blow a fuse, but I was grateful that Shannon was so skilled that she knew not to move and allowed me to just cum in her mouth. As my breathing labored, I looked down at the head of glossy brown hair between my legs. It belonged to a woman. I never dreamed that I would ever sexually desire a female, nor did I ever imagined that she would be the love of my life. I had always had an insatiable sexual appetite because no one else could take me to completion. No one else could make me believe in monogamy, but I could do that with Shannon. I knew in my heart that she was enough for me.

  I pulled her to her feet and returned my panties to their original place. She licked her lips that were covered with my nectar. I used my fingers to wipe then clean then gave her a quick kiss. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long time and it was as if we could read each other’s soul. She knew she belonged with me. She was in love with me. But she was married to someone else.

  “Hey,” I said as her eyes watered, and I pulled her into my arms.

  “I’m OK,” she said into my shoulder then quickly pulled away.

  Shannon walked over to where she had thrown my top on the floor and laid it carefully over the chair. On shaky legs, I walked over to the clothes that Tiffany left for me to try and took up a dress.
Shannon handed me my bra and I slipped my arms in then she helped me to hook the back. When she was done, her hands slowly slid down the smooth skin of my back.

  “Your skin is so silky smooth,” she whispered in my ear from behind. “I want to feel it against mine.”

  I turned around to face her and threw the dress over the rack.

  “Let’s go home,” I said as I picked up my top from the chair.

  I slipped it on and pulled down my skirt, but Shannon did not move. It caused me to stop and look at her to try to read her expression to have some idea of what was going through her mind, however, her expression was blank. There was a knock on the door and the handle turned but the door was locked, so I went over to open it.

  “Hi,” Tiffany smiled. “Is everything OK? Do you need any help?”

  “No. I’m fine. I'll let you know if I need you,” I told her.

  “OK, Miss Todd.”

  I closed the door and turned around to find that Shannon was still standing in the same position. I walked over to her and was very confused because she just gave me so much pleasure, but now she was looking at me with disappointment in her eyes. I offered to take her home with me so I could make love to her, but she was clearly not into that idea and I couldn’t understand why.

  I walked over to her and rested my hand on her arm.

  “Shan, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing...it’s just…,” she started but decided against saying what was on her mind. “Maybe you should just fit these clothes…”

  “No! You can’t do this!” I said angrily.

  “Do what?”

  “You can’t just...fuck me like that and...go silent,” I struggle for words amid my anger. “I don’t understand, and I want you to just tell me what…”

  “It’s Raj! I promised him that I wouldn’t do this,” she said and I could see the embarrassment and hurt in her eyes. She loved him and she didn’t mean to break a promise she made to him because, despite the fact that they got involved in such freaky sexual behaviors, it was done with consent and agreement.

  “I’m sorry,” I said feeling bad for taking her with me instead of telling her to go home to her husband.

  “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for,” she said caressing my face. “You are so beautiful. How could I resist?” she asked rhetorically. “Let’s go through this rack, and maybe we could go for lunch.”

  “OK,” I said as I lost myself in the sparkles of her blue eyes.

  My heart had found its mate and she was standing right here yet so far away. My life would welcome her and I could make her the happiest woman on earth, but her life had no place for me. I was happy that I had found love, but so depressed because the one I loved could never be mine. Shannon loved her husband and had not given any indication that it would ever change. There was a powerful attraction between us that would make it hard for Shannon to honor her word to Raj. However, as much as I loved her, I had to respect her wishes and tried to do my best to not put her in this position again. It would be difficult but I would have to try very hard...for her sake.

  Chapter 8

  It was obvious that Tiffany and the other girls heard or suspected that something went on inside the changing room. It was written all over their faces. Shannon didn’t care if they heard because she was used to being seen and heard during sex and no longer cared who knew what she was doing. I was used to that as well, but not to the degree she was.

  My friends and people who knew me felt as if I was very comfortable with public sex, but that was not so. I was very conscious but my desire to engage in raw open sex was so overwhelming that I pushed those feelings aside. However, if it was not a controlled environment where everyone was doing and expecting the same things, then I became very conscious to the point where I would not engage. Shannon did not give a fuck!

  I was mostly concerned that Tiffany and the other girls would know that I was having sex with a woman. I was still getting used to the idea and was not ready for everyone to know where my newly discovered interest laid. I was not ashamed, but I was accustomed to men all my life and had to get used to the idea that I desired a woman. I quickly paid my bill and soon I was driving away from the store but not sure where I was heading next.

  “Where are we heading, babe?”

  “Please call me that all the time,” Shannon smiled at me. “You had said lunch, right?”

  “Yes, but I don’t know if you...want to...or can,” I said cautiously.

  “Want to and can.”

  “Great,” I said but felt an uneasy feeling inside me.

  I felt like Shannon and I needed to talk because there seemed to be so much uncertainty and confusion hovering over us. However, I would take anything that let me spend time with her, so I was not about to bring that up.

  “So what time is your ‘thing’ tonight?”

  “My friend, Mia, will pick me up at around eight,” I replied.

  “Will she be there with you?”

  “Usually, if one of my friends invites me to an event and I don’t know the host, they would introduce us then we go our separate ways. We never have sex in the company of one another.”

  “I see,” she responded.

  Shannon’s phone started ringing and she picked up.

  “Hi, honey. What’s up?” she greeted Raj, and the jealousy was eating me alive just to hear the endearment she used. “I was doing some shopping and I’m going to have lunch with a friend. Baby, you can wear whatever you like. Everyone’s attention will be focused elsewhere so they’ll have no time to critique your attire,” Shannon said then laughed at whatever Raj said to her. “I’ll see you later. Love you too.”

  I wanted to throw up. This feeling I had never known before, and I didn’t particularly like it. I would much rather the way I felt before when I was happy and free; not being a hostage to love and all the fucking shit that came with it. I could hardly swallow. The ease with which she spoke lovingly to her husband with me right beside her was unbearable and made me fucking angry.

  “Slow down, Arien,” Shannon said and that was when I realized that I was way above the speed limit.

  I started to regret the lunch invite because I wanted to just get the hell away from her. I needed to be with her, but I also needed to be away from her.

  “Should we make a rain check on lunch because I don’t want it to mess up your plans with Raj,” I said, offering her a way out.

  “It will not be messed up. Don’t worry about that,” she said. “I would love to have lunch with you.”

  “OK,” I said without a smile.

  “What’s going on? Why are you upset?”

  I thought about it and wanted to just let her know what was on my mind. I wanted to let her know that the moment I laid eyes on her, I fell in love. I wanted her to know that I couldn’t think about anything else but her in my arms. I wanted her to know that no one had ever made me feel the way she did, and our lovemaking was beyond anything I had ever imagined. However, I could not do that to her when she was clearly torn between her feelings for me and honoring her commitment to her husband.

  Raj was also my friend. I had been sleeping with him for the past three years and he did not take me into their bed for me to take his wife away from him. I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do, but Mia was coming for me later and I would start there. I needed to get back to my life and not be consumed by someone I could never have.

  “Ari?” Shannon was waiting for an answer to her question. “Please talk to me.”

  “There is nothing to talk about. The situation is what it is, so there is nothing to talk about.”

  “What situation?”

  “You know what?”

  “I want to make sure we are on the same page.”

  “We are.”

  “How do you know when we don’t tell each other what our view of the situation is?”

  “We’re here. Let’s have lunch. I don’t want to talk about such a heavy topic on an empty stomach.�
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  “So…”

  “Let’s go, Shannon,” I said and opened the door.

  I was boiling inside, and I knew she was not responsible for the degree of my confusion, but she was there and my emotions were spilling over on her. I waited for her to catch up to me, and unlike how we entered the boutique, I did not hold her hand. We entered the restaurant and a seat was immediately available to us because my mother had priority seating that extended to my dad and me.

  Shannon and I were given a balcony seating which was always my preferred choice, and as I looked through the menu, I could feel her eyes boring into me. I looked up, and as I thought, she was looking at me instead of the menu she opened and was pretending to read.

  “See anything you like?” I asked.

  “Ari, I don’t understand why you are so upset with me,” she said gently that I could not react with the anger inside me.

  “I’m not upset. I’m just disappointed with the way things are.”

  “Are you talking about me being married or the parties I attend because we can address those right now,” she said closing the menu and looping her fingers together.

  "I would like to order, however, if you feel the need to address it you can," I said as I looked through the menu.

  "Let's start with what happened at the store," she said and took a deep breath. “I am extremely attracted to you, and it's difficult to keep my hands off you. I think about you all the time…”

  “I bet you won’t be thinking about me tomorrow night.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked. “You are such a hypocrite because you are planning on doing the same thing tonight…”

  “We are doing it for different reasons,” I said just as the waiter came to take our orders.

  Shannon had not looked through her menu and did not seem interested even with the waiter standing there, so I order for her the same as I was having. She didn’t care at this point what was on her plate because she was more interested in our conversation.

  “What is your reason for attending that party tonight?” she asked as soon as the waiter walked away.