The Business Trip Page 8

  “French fries. Have some Mama. It’s delicious,” Taila said giving one to Sydney.

  I sat and watched them with a smile on my face but with pain in my heart. Sydney kept searching my face, my eyes to see if she could read what was going through my mind and I was sure she could. It was not possible that I could keep all that I was feeling inside without some of it reaching my eyes so I was sure she could tell how devastated I was.

  “Excuse me girls. Enjoy your fries,” I said and disappeared into my office.

  Once I was inside, I was able to empty the contents of my heart. I buried my face in the cushions of the sofa and I cried and cried.

  “Alison,” I whispered hoping she could feel the agony I was experiencing for losing her.

  After a year of waiting, it was official, we will not be able to be together. That was the truth we now faced. I wanted to tell her so that she doesn’t make all these preparations for us but I couldn’t...I wouldn’t be able to say the words. This was just day one and I was shattered to pieces so it was unimaginable how I would survive the other thirteen days before Alison is standing at the airport waiting for my arrival.

  I looked at my phone, wanting to return her call but I would not be able to hear her voice without breaking down so I send her a text with the only three words that were least confusing for me:

  I love you.

  My fingers trembled as I pressed the ‘send’ button. I closed my eyes and the pain was utterly unbearable. I cried openly and I wanted to suppress it so that Sydney or Taila didn’t hear me but I could not keep the sounds in. I fell on the floor to my knees and wept because I know how much pain I will be unleashing on Alison when she realized that we were never going to be together.

  The office door opened and I didn’t even look up to see who it was because I could not move and I was in despair. I felt gentle hands holding me up and I found myself in Sydney’s arms as she rocked me and comforted me. I emptied on her and I told myself while I cried that this was going to be my last one. I just needed to get it all out and then I am done because they deserved better than this. My wife should not be comforting me while I cried for another woman. This was the last time.

  I lifted my head from her shoulder and looked at her crying eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Sydney. I am really sorry.”

  She wiped our eyes and looked at me for a long time before speaking.

  “It happens. You met someone you fell in love but...you were not the only one who took vows on our wedding day. I said I will be there for you always, for better or for worse. I am here for you, Logan. This is killing me but I am looking ahead and know that...this too shall pass. We will be OK. Right?”

  I nodded my head. “Please forgive me.”

  “I forgive you and I am also guilty. The way I handled it was not the right thing to have done but it is taken care of and will never happen again. I am also begging for your forgiveness,” she said caressing my cheek.

  “You are forgiven,” I said between sobs.

  +++

  Three days have passed since I last communicated with Alison. She was in Paris on business and didn’t seem to have much time so I was able to just wait it out until she returned home today. I knew that I should expect a call and not messages anymore. I sat at my desk at work and looked at the portrait of my family that had become my focal point over the past year, reminding myself the reason I am not living in New York right now.

  The last few days have been rough and Sydney had been an angel, taking care of me and distracting me with a lot of activities that included Taila because with her, there was not much room to get lost in your thoughts. I appreciated Sydney’s efforts and at times I forgot how fucked my world was. I walked over to the other end of my office with the completed 3D model of the project that we had been working on. Frazier and his team did a marvelous job on its precision model, transforming it from the digital format on the monitor on my office wall to the physical model. It was immaculate and impressive as usual. I walked over to my desk and called his office.

  “Hello,” he answered in his deep masculine voice that seemed to command power and respect but he was quite the opposite. He was so shy and spoke very little so usually he did the job and I made the presentation.

  “Frazier, just a reminder about the presentation with Caribdream. The meeting is at four so please come to my office like a half an hour before so we can talk a little. Mr. Gray will not be able to make it so they will be sending a representative to evaluate the final product. I don’t want us spending time redoing any part of it so I hope we get this right.”

  “I will be there half an hour before. Did he tell you who his representative will be?”

  “Laura has the information, I will check with her. See you in a little bit,” I said and disconnected the call then went to my secretary to get the name. “Laura, what is the name of the representative that Mr. Gray is sending?”

  I watched as she went through her book and said, “Mr. Gray said he is in the hospital doing a minor surgery so he has asked his niece, Alison Walden, to do the final review for him and she will sign off on the project.”

  The ground moved from under my feet and I just stood there standing on nothing as I stared at Laura. Who did she say? She said Alison, right?

  “Miss Porter? Is everything OK?”

  “Yes. Thank you,” I said, hurriedly pulled my head back into my office and closed the door, leaning against it.

  This could not be right. Maybe it was a different Alison Walden because if it were my Alison, she would have said something to me because surely she knew my name. Maybe she was just trying to surprise me but she was in Paris on a business trip and was due back today. There was no way she would have come straight to Florida after her trip from Paris because she would be tired and...no something was not right.

  Why was this happening? Why was I being tortured like this? I did not want to see Alison because I would have to tell her to her face that I had chosen to stay with my family after promising her that she would see me in New York in a little over a week. How was I going to look in her eyes and break her heart like this. No. I have to cancel this meeting.

  Mr. Gray was depending on this project finalizing today so that he could get approval to proceed with the construction. I could not let my personal problems get in the way of my job but this was too much to handle right now when I was already so fragile.

  I picked up my phone and searched for Alison’s number because she needed to tell me why she was asked to represent her uncle in our business arrangement and not say anything to me.

  “Oh my God! Logan! I was just about to call you but I was collecting my bag to get out of this crowd. Why have you not been responding to my messages?”

  “You are at the airport?”

  “Yea. I am just getting out. My driver is waiting on me so I am rushing to him...hang on a second,” she said without saying a word about our meeting.

  If she was at the Miami International Airport then it would take her about half an hour to get to my office so I had little or no time to prepare to see her. My heart raced because I wanted to hold her so badly but I was also terrified about how our conversation would end.

  “Babe?”

  “I’m here,” I replied feeling so guilty to respond to the endearment knowing that our relationship was over.

  “I am inside the car heading home. I can’t wait to just soak in a tub filled with bubbles. I wish you were here to join me then we could celebrate over this massive project I secured. We will be traveling to Paris together and having the time of our lives.”

  “Wait...what? Where are you?”

  “I am just leaving the airport. I told you. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I just...So you are in New York?”

  “Logan, talk to me. What’s happening? Are you alright?”

  “Yes. Never mind. I am just a little tired. I have this model presentation for Patrick Gray but he is in the hospital.”

 
“Bummer. So he won’t make it. Will he send someone or you have to wait until he is out?”

  “He is sending a representative.”

  “OK. Well...do you have time to talk or we can talk later when you are not so busy. I would love for us to talk now because I have not heard your voice in a while but I know the job so I can wait.”

  “Thank you. I will call you later.”

  “Well...OK...ahm...are we good? I am used to getting some kind of endearment from you but...not lately. So...are we good?”

  I hated to be lying to her but I...fuck!

  “We are good. Just a little distracted with this presentation. I’ll talk to you later, honey.”

  “OK. Bye babe. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I said and quickly ended the call.

  I ran to Laura to find out what was the name she told me earlier.

  “Laura, what is the name of the representative for Mr. Gray?”

  She looked at me as if I was going mad and they knew me to be a very collected and confident person but lately I was just a shadow of myself. Laura wrote the name this time so that I did not have to question what I had heard.

  Allison Ward. That was the name but I heard Alison Walden because my brain has been so fucked lately. It was time for Frazier to come to me because in half an hour Miss Ward will be here to give the green light on the completion of the design. I needed my support...just hearing her voice let me know that I will be OK.

  “Hello, my love,” my wife’s warm and comforting voice came over the line.

  “Hey, babe. I just wanted to hear your voice because I have a presentation and I am scared. I don’t want to have to make any changes to the model so it is important to convince my client that it was done with great precision and care.”

  “Logan,” she sighed, “baby, this is your playground. No matter what is going on with you this is the one area that no one or anything can diminish your power. You feel this way now but when you see this client, Logan Porter will take charge. Don’t think about it because you are built for this. OK?”

  “OK. Thanks, baby. I would like to take you out on a date tonight. Ask Maggie to sit for a few hours.”

  “Ooo...I am excited! Can’t wait,” she replied and my smile was wide and genuine.

  “OK, baby. See you later.”

  Sydney was right. I was in my element as soon as Allison walked into my office. The presentation was a home run and she was impressed with the model. At one point she had a concern about the recreation area for kids but I explained that it was a major selling point if visitors knew that they could get their children involved in some activities while they conduct business with the financial center and that it was beneficial to both visitors and employees. Allison was a mature woman who did not see the importance of that additional expense but was easily convinced otherwise.

  After she signed off on the completion of the project. Frazier and I celebrated a job well done. He had been with me the longest and my brain was his brain. I was most worried about him when I had planned to relocate to New York and had even decided that I would take him with me if he was willing to go. Alison would have loved to have him on board. I tried to block her out of my mind so that I could take this major step in my recovery from the breaking away process of Alison and me.

  “Frazier, you have been such a loyal employee; actually you are more than that. You are like family and I respect your hard work and you commitment to this business. Everyone works well with you because you are so respectful but demanding of perfection…”

  “Oh my God! You are firing me? What did I do?” he asked wide-eyed.

  “No! No...Fraizer! Don’t be silly. Why would I do that when you are the heartbeat of this business,” I laughed. “I want you to take over from me for a while. You know what I like and how I would want things done so I am giving you a free hand to keep this place going.”

  “Are you serious?! Is this a prank?”

  “No. You are my new manager.”

  “Oh my God! Why me? I thought you would give something like this to Phillip.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he is aggressive and a take-charge kind of person…”

  “But I need someone who will work with everyone, someone who everyone respects and will follow his directives. That’s you. You are right about Phillip so you are going to use his strengths were you need them.”

  “Do you think I can do this?”

  “Would I take my business which is my lifeline and hand it to someone I didn’t know could do the job?”

  “No.”

  “Exactly. You assume your new position tomorrow. I will call an emergency meeting shortly to let everyone know. You will move into this office and you have full access to everything except my safe to which I have the codes. Work closely with the accountant and bring anything, no matter how trivial it may seem, to my attention once you have a concern. I am only a phone call away.”

  “Is everything OK with you? I mean, for you to be taking a break that you have never taken.”

  “Yea. Everything is fine. I just need some time to focus on my family more, this job can be consuming and my daughter is getting older and asking questions besides I am just tired. So good thing I have you, Frazier,” I smiled.

  “I will not let you down.”

  “I know you won’t.”

  +++

  I drove home with my box of things I needed for my office at home and felt as if I was just fired from my job. I needed the time away because I know that things were going to get worse before they get better and I did not want that to interfere with the quality of my business. Alison still had no idea what was in store and as the time approached it will take a toll on me. She was already starting to get suspicious about my change in the way I related to her.

  I kept having flashes of her standing naked and beautiful in front of me as she did sometimes before we made love. It had been less than a week since Alison and I made love and the same length of time for me and Sydney. She cautiously tried last night and I pretended to be falling asleep, not because I was not attracted to her but because I was so depressed that I did not have the desire to make the effort.

  My car phone rang and it was my sister, Pat. I ignored her call just like I had been ignoring everyone else’s, including my parents. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone except, Sydney and Taila. Alison’s voice, I desperately needed to hear but her voice made me so sad because I know how much we wanted to be together and I listened to her so excited not knowing what was about to come.

  I was looking forward to going out with my wife and just enjoying a nice dinner with her. She loved when we danced so maybe I could take her to that afterwards. As soon as I drove in I noticed Erika’s car and I was not happy about it because I did not want to see her. She was willing to write me off when she thought that I was going to New York without thinking for a moment about supporting something that meant so much to me. Even if she did not agree with my decision, she should still be my friend and not base it on me doing what everyone else wanted. Clearly our friendship had become conditional.

  I walked into the dining room then to the living room where Sydney was talking to Erika. Sydney got up and greeted me with a kiss.

  “Hi, babe. Erika stopped by to finish her game with Taila and put her to bed.”

  “Is she sleeping? Can I go give her a kiss?” I asked, ignoring Erika.

  “Maybe not. If you do it, she is going to be up and asking for stuff,” Sydney replied.

  “Well, I can read her morning time stories and I can take her to school because I won’t be going back to the office for a while,” I said waiting for her questions.

  “What do you mean not going back?”

  “I have taken an indefinite leave of absence. I have put Frazier in charge. He has control and will only call me if there is an emergency.”

  “How long will this be for?” Sydney looked worried.

  “I said indefinitely,” I replied. “I
don’t feel like I have much to offer the business at this time so I don’t want to be dragging it down. Frazier is excellent. It will be fine.”

  “So what will you do in your free time?”

  “Spend more time with my family. There are things that I want to do with Taila so we can just...do stuff.”

  Sydney looked at Erika but I was not sure what Erika was doing because I avoided eye contact with her. Sydney took a deep breath then looked at me.

  “OK. If that’s what you think you need,” she said touching my face smile the continued, “Maybe now would be a good time to have that second baby we spoke about.”

  “No.”